Monday, June 06, 2005

Story of Peaknik's search for the puzzle pieces

Do some of you other peakniks feel sometimes like you're on the Truman Show? As I've been learning, preparing, trying to spread the word, and trying to get my local community to start planning for the issue, I've seen coverage and commentary explode on peak oil since February '04. Like Olwe has said in the past, I want the title crown for "Doom & Gloomer" because in the end I will be crowned "Most Prophetic"! LoL

I always feel like I'm way out ahead of the crowd on some issues. Not that I'm any smarter than the average joe because it's not that at all. I just tend to see things ahead of the rest. It could stem from my INTP/INTJ personality, or my inclinations to figure out the big picture the whole time I've been alive. I've spent my whole life gradually finding pieces to the puzzle little by little, observing, reading, learning, experiencing all facets of life and the different perspectives and world views. I just love to understand, and my understanding always changes as new information is added.

For instance, I became a born-again Christian in 1985. This was before the commercialism you see today (well, it was the beginning of it). I was curious about God and who He was and about faith and what it meant, especially in the scheme of life. I asked myself what the world was coming to and why people seemed to be so cruel to one another, and why do we kill each other in wars or not help the starving in Ethiopia, etc., which is everything contrary to what I was taught as a child about morality. I gained a direct relationship with the Lord and my life has been directed by Him ever since with His basic principles left in the New Testament according to my understanding of the Word. I immersed myself into learning and studying Christianity. Knocked on doors, tithed, participated in the choir and plays, attended every gathering for 5 years. I went fanatical nuts for awhile so that nobody would hardly come near me. I lost long-time friends and annoyed my family. They thought I'd become involved in a cult. I've built my foundational beliefs from it, though, because the fundamental message is the truth but the truth has been led astray. Back then, however, I compared and contrasted other faiths during that time, and read the Word almost from cover to cover and gained my own understanding as opposed to what I watched and listened to in my church and in the media. I came to different conclusions after reading and feeling like the Holy Spirit was telling me otherwise. His principles of loving my God and loving my brother are always with me to this day but I do not attend organized church because of my experiences and what I saw transpiring. Hence, 20 years later, look at what has happened. I knew it. I knew this was what the "Christian" church was intending on doing (what you see today as involved in politics as they are). Look up dominionism and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's been in the works for a long time now. Unfortunately, people are going to have to find out themselves and separate, like me, or they will follow the pied piper like sheep to the slaughter. They'll not prepare like Noah. If they wake up and turn, I will be very happy and have more hope. I won't get into this any deeper. My point is, I saw it 20 years ago, before all the little pagan fishy symbols popped up on the many vehicles you see today.

After my dive into finding my faith and forming my foundation, I asked the Lord for direction in my life--what was my purpose, how could I lead others to Him besides purely knocking on doors and asking flat out, etc. What occupation could I have that would mimic what His commandment of loving God and brother be? There was no other thing that came up except for nursing. I returned to school at 27 and every door opened that was possible that allowed me to succeed-financial aid, transportation I thought I wouldn't have, a G.P.A. beyond my wildest dreams. So, for 5 years I learned more in sociology classes, psychology, cultural anthropology, literature, logic, ethics, and all the sciences. This experience also helped me expand my understanding of the bigger picture. Upon graduation in 1997, I tended to assume at that point in time that I couldn't change the world so I would "be the change I wished to see in the world" (thanks Ghandi) and accepted that fact that the only thing I could change was myself and hopefully it would spread to those around me.

Then in 2003, the U.S. was again going to war and something seemed fishy to me. Something was not right. My dad sent me a document via email which woke me up to the political world. It was from Indy Media called Iraq War in a .pdf file. It talked about the possible reasons for going to war and the possibility of OPEC wanting to move from the dollar to the euro because the dollar was so weak. This piqued my interest because of my past reading about endtimes theories of a one world currency, and that Europe was the bastion of the old Holy roman empire which would be revived, and all the one world government prophecies I had read about. That started my distrust of the current administration and the moves it has been making. I felt the administration wasn't being truthful about its intentions or motives. I don't value dishonesty in my leaders whether its well intentioned or not! Thus, I ventured out on a crusade to try to change the administration through the elections process. Ultimately, I found out how much of a farce the electoral process has been! So many things are set into place now that it's almost impossible to change the system. But I won't get too far into that, either. So, I went from trying to change the world again, to my previous assumption of myself being the only thing I can change! Must be in me an intent desire to change the world, no? It's a common battle thread in my life.

Foward to presidential primaries Feb '04. I felt like some headway was being made. But out of the clear blue sky, out drops a link from Democratic Underground to Matt Savinar's website Life After the Oil Crash! I sat in a stupor for at least a month! This was a HUGE picture piece to the big jigsaw puzzle I'd been trying to put together most of my life. Everything started coming together, the economy, oil, religion, the history of the world, population, pollution, global warming, disease, famine, resources, resources, resources! It was a big AHA! So THAT'S why we would blow each other up! Resources! Resource control brings POWER. Globalization brings POWER! Totally, the opposite from what Jesus taught. A pyramid scheme usually collapses and it's usually the guy on top that rakes in all the profit, if you catch my drift.

Suddenly, I wanted the candidates to mention more about this "peak oil" I just learned about. Kerry and Kucinich did bring up some good solutions but they never ever really made it one of their primary concerns which disappointed me. Both parties seemed to be all about growth, globalization, etc. Although I favor the Democratic party, they also haven't been honest in looking into what peak oil means to this nation and the world. Maybe in 3-1/2 years they and the public will figure it out. We definitely know where the neoconservatives want to go with this--the "last man standing" route for the greater good (meaning your life may be expendable and we'll get the last drop before we collapse). There has been much more in the media lately about it. However, many polarized political minds have been laughing it off as some left-wing environmentalist propaganda. Far be it from this! Awakened peakniks are ranging from all facets of life. Take Rep. Roscoe Bartlett R-MD. He's more conservative than my tastes for a politician but he gave that Special Order Speech on c-span to wake America and the congress up! I'll lift my biases for someone who will address and try to conserve the future for my great-grandchildren! Neither political party is approaching this critical issue like they should. To become more sustainable, in alot of aspects we are going to have to abandon big government and decentralize as painful as it will be. The Republicans are making this happen but without any support for a transition! That's just plain cruel! I don't sound like a Democrat, do I? I'm sounding more like a Green or an anarchist now. But our lives depend on it. We are all going to have to change our ways of living sooner or later whether we like it or not. It's not going to be pretty if we fight it in favor of our current lifestyles. I may not live through it if it happens in my lifetime. Many of us might not. I can say that after more than a year of reading on this subject. The only way there will be a softer fall will be if the political realm wakes up enough to make the coming changes easier. Unfortunately, many changes cannot be made without political pressure. More than likely, we'll be on our own.

So that's where I've come from and where I'm at. I'm back to changing the world again. Actually, it's a little bit of both. If I can't help to foster awareness and to create an easier transition for my community and the rest of the world, at least I know I can attempt to change my own ways of consumption albeit maybe a little slow. Again, I'm ahead of the curve. I've been aware for a year and have been making transitions as quickly as I'm able. I'm still trying to be "that change I wish to see in the world". I still have some pieces of the puzzle missing but it's almost complete. I just hope things don't end for me before I can help others on this journey of life. If we can make this transition together, our world will be a better place for the future of mankind.

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